yo what's up guys it's lux and some stuff has happened in my life recently and it's just made me wonder why i even started this youtube channel because honestly all i've ever wanted was to become a youtuber and to do this full time but i just feel like i can't.Trust me guys I tried so god damn hard, i stayed up so many night's, matter fact it's about to be 1am as im typing this.~I gave this my all knowing damn well that if i became a big youtuber and died the next day EVERYTHING WILL HAVE BIN WORTH IT. but i'm just simply too broke. Summer is about to end and i spent my ENTIRE summer looking for a job as a 14 year old and my only option was to do a job that the adult's thought i was to "young/weak" for but I took it anyways, so now im busting my ass off all morning and day (6 hours per day) and trying to make this youtube shit work out ALL NIGHT.some days i didn't sleep until 1am and i still woke up early and im only getting paid 20$ per week plus my mom is trying to move into a smaller trailer with me and my 3 little brothers because she couldn't afford the rent so I gave her all my savings and it was berley enough and now i've got school to worry about all at the same time.im lost. I genuinely feel like i'm just ment to fail...but no matter how hard it gets i'll always get back up but this is why i've bin inactive on all my socials. peace & love goodbye.